Blessings Galour

1.  Josh and I were having a hard time coming up with ways to improve our small group dynamics and our leadership. We love the people in our group and really wanted to maximize its potential but by the time 7:00 Wednesday rolls around we are beat. It’s only an hour til our bedtime (ish) and it’s mid week and we are drained. We didn’t know what direction to take because we felt too crunched for time to get both a lesson/discussion in about the Bible and to also get relationship building time. We were really struggling. So last Wed we had a “family” meeting and talked about what we could change and how we could improve. Our whole group was really interactive and came up with some super ideas. We are stoked for the future of our small group and the direction it is taking. Last night went really well and we are glad to have such an amazing group of people we get to meet with and share life with. YAY God for answering a huge prayer and lifting up our heavy hearts! He’s cool!

2. Josh & I were both promoted this week. Joshua is now the site supervisor and I am the new manager of Ground Control in Verrado. It’s been really cool for us to each have the confirmation of a job well done and to have the added income so we can pay off debt, save for a house, and do more with the ministries we are involved in. It also gives us almost the same schedule. Josh works Mon thru Fri 6-2 and I work Tues thru Sat 6-2. And now we have Fri and Sat nights free to hang out with other people whereas before I was always serving on those nights and hardly ever got to go out with people. We are very excited and feel incredibly blessed.

3. We got a couch. Futon now gets to go in the man room where it belongs. Lol

4. I am starting to sell Arbonne so get ready for some parties ladies.

5. We figured out that Josh’s cough of 4 months is due to allergies so with the help of some allergy meds we
are both sleeping again. Praise the Lord!

6. This is Josh’s favorite number so I feel like I can’t stop yet. I love my husband.

7. This is my favorite number so I guess I’ll end on that positive note. Peace out homeskillets.

My Birthday

Aww man. I started blogging and then had a bunch of really great things happen that I wanted to write about and now too much time has passed and 50 pages worth of material has come and gone. Such is life. I guess that’s why good intentions don’t get us very far.

Anyways…

My birthday was AMAAZZAAZZING! We celebrated for 4 days. Yes. FOUR. It included some awesome gifts from my husband: a box of new Crayola crayons (I LOVE NEW CRAYONS and I don’t use crayons after the tip wears down cuz then they just aren’t the same, even if you sharpen them.) I haven’t gotten a new box of crayons in probably 2 or 3 years. This was very exciting to me! He also got me a movie and some Circus cookies and my first ever “For my Wife” card! And best of all we colored a picture together and he intentionally picked a picture that only required the color brown since I don’t really care for that color and therefore would not be upset if the tip wasn’t sharp anymore. He’s great!

Saturday morning we went to family breakfast, and a Giants spring training game later that evening. Then Sunday, Caleb and Miriam (Josh’s brother and his wife) took us to a movie. It was great to spend time with them. However I will briefly say that Sucker Punch was an absolutely horrible movie and I don’t recommend anybody watch it ever! Awful! Awful! Then Sunday night Aaron & Christen (my besties) took us out to The Melting Pot. Oh my goodness….best restaurant ever. Highly recommended. I loved everything about it and can’t wait until my husband and I can afford to take a special trip back. It is definitely an indulgence place but if you get the opportunity to go at some point in your life it is well worth it! Amazing food, amazing place. And as to some people’s hesitation about having to “cook your own food”, it’s not really like that at all. There is a burner in the middle of your table. The server prepares all the sauces and brings you everything you need. The only part that involves participation is sticking the food on the tong and letting it sit in the pot for 2 minutes or dipping it into the sauce. It gives you an opportunity to enjoy every bite and to talk with the people at your table. I really like it and didn’t think it was a bother or any more effort than cutting my food up and sticking it my mouth at any other restaurant. This just happened to give you timed intervals when nobody had food in their mouth to enjoy each other’s company and then everybody takes a bite at the same time and then goes back to talking. Way cool if you ask me.

Then on Monday Christen and I went to IKEA which is now my newest favorite store in the whole world. It has EVERYTHING and at super great prices. I will be going back.  I could spend hours there. Which is why I am glad I have Christen because she doesn’t rush me and we can enjoy ourselves without worrying that the other of us is getting bored or wants to leave. Best friends are awesome.

This is the first birthday I have had where I went all out on the celebrating front since I was 10 and got carbon monoxide. If it weren’t for some of my friends and family in the past couple years I probably wouldn’t have celebrated at all. I am very blessed to have so many people around me who love me. Thanks to everyone who helped to make my birthday amazing and to show their love for me. I feel very loved!!!

P.S. I can’t wait to go see Les Mis in June. That is Mom & Dad Lewis’ present to all of us for our birthdays this year and I am so stoked! YAY

Stop Warning Me Please!

Ok, so what’s up with the negative Mother In Law crap?! Who started that anyway? And is there the same stigma in other countries?  The comments people make about their MIL’s are awful! And what’s even worse is the preparation they feel they need to give me on what I should expect and how to “deal”. These are just as bad as everybody telling me to wait until the honeymoon phase is over. Why does everything have to be so negative? Can’t I just truly be happy and have nothing lurking over my head about how dark and dreary my future looks? Come on people, have a little optimism please.

For the record, I just want to say that I have an amazing mother in law. She is kind, sweet, and caring. She doesn’t nag about when we are going to have a baby, make comments about my weight or house cleaning abilities, say anything negative about my ability to cook, or pester us everyday wanting to check up on her son. I know she cares about him very much and the transition of having your sons grow up and move out is hard I am sure. But she has handled it with grace, dignity, and been very, very helpful to me. She was super wonderful through all of the wedding prep . She’s offered to help me learn to cook a few things, is always genuine in her interaction with me and is willing to lend a hand or advice whenever we ask for it but doesn’t barge in or act overbearingly. We get along great.

That being said…even if we didn’t get along great I think it’s important to protect your family as well as your spouse.  I believe you get what you settle for and if all you are expecting from your in laws is that they are going to be horrible, overbearing, nagging people who are always telling you to do things the “right” way, than that is all you are going to see. I am not saying people don’t have issues getting used to a new family. It can be hard at times. I am sure there are some MILs that make it very difficult on their DILs. I know that people in general can be annoying, hurt our feelings, or butt in where they don’t belong. That’s not just a MIL thing though. That’s a human thing. The important thing to remember is complaining about it all the time and trash talking about your new family isn’t going to help. And I’m sure your spouse doesn’t appreciate hearing all those negative things about their loved ones.

Even if your mother in law is horrible and your personalities clash you don’t  need to spread it around the whole community or share it with all your other friends whose MIL stink. That’s just creates fuel for the fire. AND certainly people don’t need tell every prospective bride to look out for her MIL because she’s going to be a monster. Gee, thanks for the encouragement. That’s like saying I had a job with a boss once that was totally awful so since you are old enough to get a job now let me just tell you how much your boss is going to hate you and put a ton of pressure and deadlines on you and breathe down your neck every five seconds.  It doesn’t make for a very positive outlook to start with.

I look at the story of Ruth in the Bible and wonder what problems she might have had with her mother in law. It says Naomi changed her name (which meant pleasant) to Mara (meaning bitter). Obviously she didn’t want to be associated with joy anymore or being pleasant. She plainly states that she is bitter. She says the Lord sent her away full but now she is coming back empty. Talk about a depressed person. Then she even takes it a step further and tells her DILs to go back to where they came from because she has nothing left to offer. Yet Ruth, knowing she has found the One, True God, will not leave her MIL’s side. She trusts that GOD will work out everything that needs to be worked out. And then she accompanies this bitter, old, depressed woman to an unfamiliar land and goes to work trying to provide a life for them. She remains respectful to Naomi, she seeks her counsel, and BECAUSE of her reputation that precedes her in how she dealt with her mother in law, Ruth is looked favorably upon by Boaz who marries her. 

Ladies, our character can take us a long way. What does our character say if we are belittling and smack talking the people in our family? How can we be more like Ruth? Maybe this week instead of dreading that visit from the MIL, pray for God to show you what He sees in her. Pray for patience and for an open mind. And make a commitment to stop cutting her down with your words. The foothold that trash talking another person gives Satan is huge. It causes us to miss out on a lot of great things. And please don’t feel like I am targeting you or like your situation isn’t possibly very difficult. I have difficult people all around me. I know what it is like. But maybe we just need to have a little faith in people. And a lot of faith that God can do anything and work through everything.

Grocery Shopping Extravaganza...Or NOT

When Josh & I were dating I expressed my dislike for grocery shopping. He told me he didn’t mind grocery shopping and actually kind of enjoyed it. We decided that for the first bit in our marriage we would try to go grocery shopping together since I have a hard time knowing what to buy, or making menu plans, and such. Shopping together seemed like a good idea to help me get accustomed to my new life style as a wife and meal planner. I had this picture perfect image of us walking down the aisle, hand in hand, laughing as we picked out items to put into our cart. 

REALITY CHECK!!!

Here’s the scoop. I started doing this thing called the grocery game. Since I am new to it, Christen went shopping with me the first week to show me how everything is done. The next week, I went over to her house again to prepare my list, and then went shopping before work. It has proved easy enough, and all the items I need to buy for the week are on a well organized list by aisle. So I walk in one side of the store, hit all the aisles I need, weaving to the other side of the store. Wallah, I’m done shopping. Then I make meals based off what I have on hand. It is wonderful.

So last week I went to the library to print my list. I got called in to work early so I ended up having to shop after I got off work. I asked Josh if he would like to go with me and see what it was all about and spend some time with me before girls night out. Now, I am still new at the grocery game and sometimes I have to look at the different products to make sure I am getting the one that is actually on sale and also to make sure that I get the best deal on what I need. I also know, that just in general, I am not a grab and go kind of shopper. I linger. And I stare. And it takes me an hour to smell every deodorant and shampoo to make sure I pick the one I like the best. (I am not kidding or exaggerating. It takes me a really long time.) With my list, this takes far less time, however, the core issue is still the same. I am not a quick shopper. And since Josh had no idea what I was doing, except that he saw we needed Ziplocs on the list and then I proceeded to stand there for 2 minutes looking at what appeared to be nothing, he began to become slightly frustrated at the shopping extravaganza. (Just for his credit, he didn’t say anything, he didn’t huff or puff, and he was very patient as I shopped). I only noticed he was frustrated as we walked out of the store because he had that look on his face that said “Phew, glad that’s done. Don’t say anything to her about how frustrating that was.” To which I immediately upon noticing asked “Are you frustrated?” BUSTED! He was very gentle in his approach. “A little.”

“Why?” (I asked with my little grin, like how could anybody possibly ever get frustrated with lil ol me?

“…because….you…stare off sometimes.”

I busted up laughing. I know I suck at shopping fast. And with the groovy list I have printed, that picture perfect image of us strolling down the aisles, randomly picking stuff up and putting it in our cart, is now history. (But so is that $400 grocery bill that could have easily happened doing things that way.)

I guess the moral of the story is: Josh & Rachel don’t shop well together unless they are in a store where she can stare at the different varieties for an hour while he stands in the book, CD, DVD, electronic, or video game section and gets to drool over those aimlessly until he snaps out of it and realizes what time it is and comes to get his wife. :) 

P.S. Since writing this a few weeks ago Josh & I have gone grocery shopping twice and done a fine job. Neither of us got frustrated and I have gotten faster. We just had to have a reality check and know what we were release those unrealistic expectations of a starry eyed fun date and accept it for what it is...grocery shopping on a budget. Haha. Good times.  

Lesson 2: Guy Brain vs Girl Brain

Lesson 2: Guy Brain. Girl Brain.

Josh & I had our first moment of boy brain vs girl brain the other day as we were shopping. We received quite a few gift cards from Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond so we decided to spend our day off together getting some of the things we still needed for the house. We went to B, B & B first. After walking up and down the aisles we found that everything was super expensive. Sheesh. After getting a spice rack we decided to head to Target in hope that it would be a more carefree, fun experience.

We really wanted a DVD rack to display our movies on. They didn’t have much at Target so we headed over to Best Buy to see what they offered. They had a huge one that held 500 dvds or a few smaller varieties that held 100. Since Josh already owns just over 200 DVDs he wanted something that held 500. But I wasn’t sold on the one they offered. I didn’t want a ginormous man TV with a futon, and a huge dvd shelf in our living room. That says bachelor pad. I tried to reach a solution of getting 2 of the smaller ones that would fit nicely on the side of the tv to keep things Fung Shuied. 

“Baby, I am well aware of the fact that it costs about the same for the 2 little ones as is does for the big one. And I know that it holds only 200 dvds instead of 500. I know that functionality wise, it isn’t the best. But the other one is ugly and is going to take up the whole wall and the living room will be too boxy. I want something functional AND pretty.”

“Ok, babe, we can get whatever you want.”

“K, well, I want the small ones, but I am uncertain. Can we think about it for a while and come back tomorrow?”

“Sure, baby.”

“Sheesh, I never knew picking out stuff could be so difficult.”

Josh just smiled at me.

“What? Ok, ok. I know I am the one that is making it difficult but I just don’t want to spend money for something I am going to hate. Sorry.”

Guy Brain: Functionability

Girl Brain: Looking pretty and not messing with the Fung Shui

Compromise: Get the small ones now, and buy a big one later that both holds all our DVDs and looks nice once we have a house we can pick it out for. Oh and if you are wondering how the “get the small ones now” is a compromise…it’s because he has a man cave where everything can be as big and bulky as he wants. And we only bought the small ones AFTER making sure that if we assembled them and decided we hated them that we could bring them back. For what we could afford now and how our apartment is laid out we both have decided we like them. See? All is well. But that still doesn’t change the fact that our brains are different. Josh is a trooper.

Some other examples of guy brain vs girl brain include:

The drying mat we have for the dishes. Josh says leave it on the counter. Functional. I say put it away where no one can see it after the dishes are done and it’s dry. Pretty.

The uncut pineapple next to the fruit basket makes me happy, along with the bananas hanging on it. The compromise: get a pineapple and bananas each week. Leave the pineapple uncut next to the fruit basket until the next week when I buy a new one, then cut the first one so we can eat it. And always leave at least 2 bananas hanging on the bowl. If they go bad, I can make banana bread. It’s the small things in life that make me happy.

The towels on the towel rack, conveniently next to shower, are for two towels that we will never use, because they look pretty. The towels that we use are a hop, skip and a jump from the shower, on the back of the door, so that nobody sees them upon entry into the bathroom. Josh still does not understand this, but has been awesome in not giving me crap for it.

Mind you, I only rat myself out and sound like the typical cliché of a woman because it is funny. Compromise has become a practiced trait of mine as well.

For example: I now wake up at 5:30 every morning. Who ever knew I was a closet morning person. Praises to God, also, for the fact that I was able to switch my schedule so I only work lunch shifts and then dinner just on Fri and Sat nights. Now I can be home to cook for him and spend the evenings with him and I can tidy up the house and do all the housewifey things in the morning before I go to work.

 Also, I got stuff to make the house pretty with our gift cards. He got a video game.

Just for the record. I have never been happier. I love being married. It is the biggest blessing I have ever received. To wake up next to someone and feel so comfortable. To be able to laugh and joke about the difference between being a man and being a woman, and appreciate those differences. To accept the challenge of loving another person for who they are and not who you want them to be, and embracing the art of loving another. Marriage is a beautiful thing. Josh and I have both become frustrated and upset as we hear people at work around us talking about marriage as a burden. Telling us to just wait until this honeymoon phase is over. Josh & I are not naïve. We don’t think that everything is going to be a piece of cake. But we are both committed to putting in the work it takes to keep this honeymoon phase alive. To continue to show each other every day that we love each other, that we are safe, and that no matter what, we will work it out and do what it takes to keep joy in our marriage. This is a transformation process. Christ is killing our selfishness and making us more like Him through our marriage. In that definition of marriage alone we expect that it will not always be easy or painless. It will stretch us and grow us and transform us. But what a beautiful result. To be more like Christ. How could we ever regret that? We are truly blessed to have each other. And with Christ, all things are possible. Including revisiting the honeymoon phase for years and years to come.

 

The Lessons Begin: The Only One Screwing Up My Fairytale is Me

Alright…so we got engaged. We had a beautiful 5 months of engagement, a simple ceremony in Josh's grandparent’s backyard with family, followed 5 days later by a casual, fun, celebration reception at Goodyear Ballpark. (I know everybody is excited for the pictures. I am too! Hopefully we will have some up shortly. Quit asking. Just kidding...Well, kind of.)

Ok fast forward. The honeymoon was great. Sparing the details. Just be aware of a few things. 

A) It was beautiful and everything it was supposed to be. 

B) Waiting is so totally worth it!!!! (TIMES A MILLION)!!! 

3) I like to switch up between letters and numbers. It’s my blog I can do whatever I want. 

4) The day after our wedding we did not wake up until 1 p.m. (Apparently, the whole getting married thing is kind of exhausting. 

E) I somehow ended up marrying a closet cowboy. How did this happen?! I thought I left Wyoming. Sheesh. 

F) I have a feeling I should erase the cowboy comment because people might think it has something to do with the honeymoon stuff. It does not. We walked around Sedona, and Josh went into a gun and hat/boot western shop. This is when I realized I had gotten dooped by none other than God Himself. I know He is laughing! :)

7) We left our keys in the door the 2nd night of our honeymoon. We discovered it the next morning. Whoops. 

Ok…so enough about the honeymoon because, honestly, it is a perfect story but it was so romantical and beautiful that I fear it just doesn’t make a very funny story. So I will treasure it forever and you don’t have to gag! That is called a compromise folks. Get used to hearing about those!

Here's what I've learned so far:

Lesson 1: The Only One Screwing Up My Fairytale Is Me

So after a week of spending 24/7 with each other (literally) it came time to start up “real life”. Yuck! First of all, being a grown up is overrated. Just FYI. Wait, who am I writing to? Children? Hardly. You all know how great being a grown up is.

Ok, Tuesday rolls around. Josh has to get up at 4:30 for work. A little background: Rachel is a night person. She strongly believes that she will always be a night person. Nothing and no one has been able to reprogram her thus far in her life. So what happens at 5 when Josh rolls out of bed and goes to give me a kiss on the cheek? Rachel pops out of bed. I am not about to send my brand new husband off into the world as a married man without making his lunch and spending that dark, freezing cold, 5 minutes with him before he heads out the door. I get up, all sleepy eyed and groggy. Pack his lunch. Give him a kiss. And then…all the sudden realize I am wide awake. I might as well get some stuff done on the house. Seeing as there are BOXES piled up EVERYWHERE!! I therefore spend the next FOUR HOURS unpacking kitchen dishes and pans, and super duper nifty gifts before I have to head out to go grocery shopping. Now my bestie, Christen, does this thing called the grocery game (more posts to come about this later). She has offered to help me get started with it. I have diligently clipped my coupons and organized them and am meeting her at her house to make my list. I am new at it, so it takes about an hour to get everything situated before we head out to go shopping. At about 11 I realize, I am still not done shopping, I have a basket full of groceries that I still have to take home to put in the refrigerator, AND I have to be to work in 15 minutes. I am SO not going to make it. I don’t want to be late to my first day back to work after a week and half off. Christen, being the bomb digity she is, offers to finish getting the items on my list and take my groceries to her house and bring them to me the next day. I rush out the door and fly to work. 

The lunch shift is slow. I go home. Josh gets there a few minutes later and I have an hour to spend with him before I have to go back for the dinner shift. He kisses me and is being all lovey when I accidently hurt him. Trying to make myself feel less horrible I make a joke.

“Baby, if you were hoping for a quiet, gentle woman, you’re tough out of luck, because that just isn’t me.”

He laughs, I laugh. And then I start crying. Josh = totally dumbfounded.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

“I’m not gentle. And we just got married, and it’s our first night home together back in real life and I won’t even be home to cook you dinner. What are you going to eat? And I won’t even be home to go to bed with you. I am a terrible wife.”

“Babe, you are a great wife. I love and appreciate everything you have done today.”

“But you can’t even see the fruits of my labor. I worked for 4 hours this morning to put away stuff and there are still boxes, and everything is still dirty. Nothing looks finished or tidy. I went grocery shopping and spent $100 on groceries and they aren’t even here so I have nothing to show for it and you don’t have anything to eat tonight. And to top it all off, I am bawling, and I have to go to work. I work every night this week. I am not going to get to cook for you at all or even hardly see you. This is awful.

(Still Rachel)

“You know, everybody told me that you were human, and that I was going to have to have a ton of grace for you in marriage. Well, I have been so busy preparing my grace for you, that I didn’t leave any for myself. The only one who is messing up my fairytale here is me.” (laughing and sobbing).

“Babe, you are a wonderful wife. I love you.”

 “I know. But I still feel like a horrible one. I have to go to work. Kiss me. Do I look like a zombie?”

“No, you look beautiful.”

That night I came home from work to a note on my pillow. It said that I was the wife he had always dreamed of and it had a scripture verse about not losing confidence. Talk about a keeper. Not only did he speak my love language (words of affirmation) but he encouraged my faith as well. I teased him later about how wonderful he was in reiterating his perfection through this awesome act of love. Haha. But seriously. He is great. :)

Catch Yourself Up

I’ve decided to get hip with the now and start a blog. Aren’t you so excited?! Since being married is full of stories I figure it is my job to expose our seemingly perfect little fairytale for what it really is: 

HULLARIOUS!!!!

But before I get into the last 3 weeks of wedded bliss, I figure you should have the back story. Here’s the short version. Catch yourself up. 

 

One day, a long time ago, (mostly long for him), Joshua and Rachel both got jobs at Family Christian Stores. The second day, (that they recall for the purpose of this story), they were standing outside after church service talking to a mutual friend. As they gazed (all confused like) into each other’s eyes they were hit with a most amazing revelation: "I know this person from somewhere". Then, Joshua, looking stunning in his black beanie, mentioned his new job was going well at Family.

"Wait, that's where I know you from?!" (Rachel)

"Yeah, I thought you looked familiar." (Joshua)

"Oh, my gosh, like, this is totally hilarious!" (You can figure it out)

And thus, a friendship began...

Travel with us over the next FOUR years...

Joshua knew Rachel was the girl for him. Rachel needed some time with Jesus.

Skip forward to the present day. Rachel still loves Jesus. Joshua still loves Rachel. (Joshua also loves Jesus). And now, after waiting ever so patiently, Joshua has become the one whom Rachel loves with all of her heart. So much so that she wiggles her toes with excitement, has a perma grin, and often giggles none stop. She blames this on the fact that she has so much love for her Joshua that it has to get out somehow because she is a very tiny little girl and all the love spilleth over quite easily. Joshua thinks she is the most amazing chick ever, also has a perma grin (she can even make him smile in pictures) AND he has even put her above his love of baseball. They are quite happy.

The Proposal:

Let's set the stage:

The Characters: 

Sneaky (Very, very sneaky) Joshua

Clueless Rachel

The Trying Not to Spill The Beans Friends

The Set:

Hunnington Beach

The Scene:

Joshua and Rachel spent an amazing day hanging out with friends at the beach. But alas it came time to leave. One of the friends faithfully reminds Rachel to fulfill her life long dream of writing names in the sand inside a heart. Rachel can’t believe she almost forgot and skips over to complete her mission. Then Joshua and Rachel kneel down next to the Heart with the Names to take pictures. Rachel stands up after taking the picture.

Josh does not.

Rachel wonders if this could be it. Her eyes start to tear up before she interrupts her moment with a loud voice in her head that says “Wait, what if he just can’t get up?” Tear fest averted.

Nope. Joshua was in fact proposing.

After speaking some words (romantic, gushy ones surely) which neither of them can recall, Rachel said yes.
Then there was some hugging, and giggling and their first kiss, and excitement from friends. And then some very high pitched, squealy, gibberish that Rachel calls conversations between the various family members carrying the grand news that Joshua and Rachel had in fact gotten engaged. YAY!