Lesson 2: Guy Brain. Girl Brain.
Josh & I had our first moment of boy brain vs girl brain the other day as we were shopping. We received quite a few gift cards from Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond so we decided to spend our day off together getting some of the things we still needed for the house. We went to B, B & B first. After walking up and down the aisles we found that everything was super expensive. Sheesh. After getting a spice rack we decided to head to Target in hope that it would be a more carefree, fun experience.
We really wanted a DVD rack to display our movies on. They didn’t have much at Target so we headed over to Best Buy to see what they offered. They had a huge one that held 500 dvds or a few smaller varieties that held 100. Since Josh already owns just over 200 DVDs he wanted something that held 500. But I wasn’t sold on the one they offered. I didn’t want a ginormous man TV with a futon, and a huge dvd shelf in our living room. That says bachelor pad. I tried to reach a solution of getting 2 of the smaller ones that would fit nicely on the side of the tv to keep things Fung Shuied.
“Baby, I am well aware of the fact that it costs about the same for the 2 little ones as is does for the big one. And I know that it holds only 200 dvds instead of 500. I know that functionality wise, it isn’t the best. But the other one is ugly and is going to take up the whole wall and the living room will be too boxy. I want something functional AND pretty.”
“Ok, babe, we can get whatever you want.”
“K, well, I want the small ones, but I am uncertain. Can we think about it for a while and come back tomorrow?”
“Sure, baby.”
“Sheesh, I never knew picking out stuff could be so difficult.”
Josh just smiled at me.
“What? Ok, ok. I know I am the one that is making it difficult but I just don’t want to spend money for something I am going to hate. Sorry.”
Guy Brain: Functionability
Girl Brain: Looking pretty and not messing with the Fung Shui
Compromise: Get the small ones now, and buy a big one later that both holds all our DVDs and looks nice once we have a house we can pick it out for. Oh and if you are wondering how the “get the small ones now” is a compromise…it’s because he has a man cave where everything can be as big and bulky as he wants. And we only bought the small ones AFTER making sure that if we assembled them and decided we hated them that we could bring them back. For what we could afford now and how our apartment is laid out we both have decided we like them. See? All is well. But that still doesn’t change the fact that our brains are different. Josh is a trooper.
Some other examples of guy brain vs girl brain include:
The drying mat we have for the dishes. Josh says leave it on the counter. Functional. I say put it away where no one can see it after the dishes are done and it’s dry. Pretty.
The uncut pineapple next to the fruit basket makes me happy, along with the bananas hanging on it. The compromise: get a pineapple and bananas each week. Leave the pineapple uncut next to the fruit basket until the next week when I buy a new one, then cut the first one so we can eat it. And always leave at least 2 bananas hanging on the bowl. If they go bad, I can make banana bread. It’s the small things in life that make me happy.
The towels on the towel rack, conveniently next to shower, are for two towels that we will never use, because they look pretty. The towels that we use are a hop, skip and a jump from the shower, on the back of the door, so that nobody sees them upon entry into the bathroom. Josh still does not understand this, but has been awesome in not giving me crap for it.
Mind you, I only rat myself out and sound like the typical cliché of a woman because it is funny. Compromise has become a practiced trait of mine as well.
For example: I now wake up at 5:30 every morning. Who ever knew I was a closet morning person. Praises to God, also, for the fact that I was able to switch my schedule so I only work lunch shifts and then dinner just on Fri and Sat nights. Now I can be home to cook for him and spend the evenings with him and I can tidy up the house and do all the housewifey things in the morning before I go to work.
Also, I got stuff to make the house pretty with our gift cards. He got a video game.
Just for the record. I have never been happier. I love being married. It is the biggest blessing I have ever received. To wake up next to someone and feel so comfortable. To be able to laugh and joke about the difference between being a man and being a woman, and appreciate those differences. To accept the challenge of loving another person for who they are and not who you want them to be, and embracing the art of loving another. Marriage is a beautiful thing. Josh and I have both become frustrated and upset as we hear people at work around us talking about marriage as a burden. Telling us to just wait until this honeymoon phase is over. Josh & I are not naïve. We don’t think that everything is going to be a piece of cake. But we are both committed to putting in the work it takes to keep this honeymoon phase alive. To continue to show each other every day that we love each other, that we are safe, and that no matter what, we will work it out and do what it takes to keep joy in our marriage. This is a transformation process. Christ is killing our selfishness and making us more like Him through our marriage. In that definition of marriage alone we expect that it will not always be easy or painless. It will stretch us and grow us and transform us. But what a beautiful result. To be more like Christ. How could we ever regret that? We are truly blessed to have each other. And with Christ, all things are possible. Including revisiting the honeymoon phase for years and years to come.
